Monday, December 1, 2008


so i totally had a flashback right now...hahah but its not what imma talk about. i might touch up on it, but who knows ?

so i had an experience today. its not a thing i do on the regular. i had a show in ontario, and it was more of an urban feel; spoken word kind of things. and this girls piece really got to me. she was talking about how a man loves a bitch, and how shes a nice girl and all of that stuff. its crazy how when a person talks about the opposite sex, the blame is totally put on them. well you know what ? it sure as hell isnt gna change in my head. all the blame is on the girl. "if i were a know what i be decisive...instead of acting like i am." my version of beyonces "if i were a boy" is on point. well in my head at least, and thats all that matters to me. is my opinion. theres nothing wrong with that either. whats funny is that the younger they are, the more they think they know. isnt that weeeeeird ? to be honest, i know what kind of girl i want, but i cant say i know WHO i want. its too damn early in my life. but yeah, another unorganized thought. later. hahah

Friday, November 21, 2008


dont assume. youll make an ass out of you and me. theres are 2 kinds of assumptions. assuming in your mind, and assuming and making it public. you cant control whats in your heart and mind, but you can control making it public. so dont assume ? i dont know about you, but i think its pretty inevitable. we all live with hope, but that leaves room for doubt as well. its crazy how assuming can lead you to a fantasy world, and can make you think about very bold possibilites. it may not be this way for you, but i LOVE to think ahead; to think about how happy ill be, and to think about what ill have and what i wont have...the question is, will what i wont have bother me ? coz it sure as hell is now. i think thats something i have to cope with, and maybe ill get over that through time. crazy thing is, once you think you got it down, it all changes on you; literally, in a split second. but the trickier part is that things around you change as you change as well. and its like a master lock. you keep turning and turning, and eventually, the 2 clicks will meet and youll be able to open it. its all a matter of patience, i guess. patience is virtue, but patience isnt easy. ive come to realize that assuming is dreaming, and dreaming is wishing, and do wishes come true ? just be patient and let the wish work it out. its worth it, its worth it, its worth it...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

another day, another dollar.

yeaaaaaah. thats what it is. another day, another dollar. another day, another opportunity. basically with every new day comes new thoughts and new feelings. and we, as individuals, have the ability to create our own thoughts and feelings. not basically from scrap, but from all we have already. and its sure not easy to make things great when youre down. coz thats when you have to try and make things better. but thats the number one word that sticks out: try. all you have to do is TRY to establish good thoughts and feelings, and itll come. even though we all have our days where we want to just break down and cry, we can sure prevent it whenever it comes by. shoot, thats how i handle it. hahah. dont get me wrong. im no genius, and im no perfect man that never feels negative emotions. coz i do. its how i handle it that separates me. wow. i lost my thoughts JUST RIGHT NOW. hahah ill continue this later. bye.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


whats the first thing that comes into your mind when you speak that word ? i think up and down, which is pretty obvious. the beauty of a see-saw is that you cant be on it alone. you have to have someone on the other side. being alone on a see-saw defeats the purpose of it, no ? ha, unless you like to keep staring at an empty seat in front of you.

im pretty much one of the moodiest people alive. i could have a great start to a great day, only to have it altered by some jerk who cuts me off. haha, im sure im not alone on that one, and im sure im not the moodiest person out there. same thing applies to company. for some reason, i have this weird swing. i wouldnt necessarily call it moody, but its pretty much along those lines...fine, its moody. hahah. but i love being around people; people that make me laugh and smile, so i can return the favor. but there are times where i want to be alone and just isolated. sounds emo, but im sure that you all understand that we all need space every here and there. but what gets me the timing of the wanted space. im no genius or anything, but am i the only one who notices that bad timing is everything ? its all a matter of being on the good side of bad timing. when we want to be alone...thats easy. dont answer calls, texts, or however you communicate. but when we dont want to be alone, it gets trickier. and whats crazy is that wanting to be alone can alter your chances of having company in future when you dont want to be alone. how weird. ok im ranting hahah. but just put it this way:

im on a see-saw with my friend. of course, one goes up, one goes down at the same time. simple, but fun ! im bored of it, and tired. so i get off. but my friend still wants to keep going. im not in the mood. and he's sitting there, waiting for me, while i do my thing. i come back and my friends gone. how naive of me to think he'd be waiting for me at the same spot. now im in the same position he was in. wow. should i go or should i stay ? ill go. we wont always be at the same spot at the same time, but the seesaw will always be there waiting.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

same stories, different times.

thats basically the line that really defines my life. and im pretty sure that most of you all (whoevers reading this - which i bet isnt too many hahah.) can relate to that. whats funny is that it doesnt really bum me out that i end at the same note every time, it just makes me hungrier to actually finish a story. but whatever.

ive constantly asked myself questions. questions that i cant answer myself; that only another person can. "why does it always end this way?" "what am i supposed to do?" "why am i not good enough?" can you blame me for asking these kind of questions when i am constantly overlooked ? when i do my absolute best to be righteous and real, only to be pushed away ? its a hard feeling to cope with, especially when others around me just think about themselves and they get what they want. i think to myself, "hey maybe its just me. maybe i have to change." but im not going to change and be a follower. i cant step away from the way i care so much, and the way i feel. i dont play games. im straight to the point, and youll always get the answer from me. its always a yes or no, not an i dont know. clarity and honesty are a big part of who i am. and im pretty much the realest a person can be. all i ask is for the same in return. screw showing signs, screw having to figure it out. just SHOW ME. if theres not positive answer in a question you want answered...whats your natural reaction ? giving yourself the benefit of the doubt. thought so. in the shortest way possible...this is the thought thats running through my mind:

"leave no room for hope or doubt; only truth and fact."

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

first blog.

well. how do i start ? theres not much for me to say at the moment, but at the same time there is. im usually the kind of person that says, "why the heck am i going to type out how i feel online for everyone to read?" i mean...its like an invasion of privacy with me approving it. hahahah weird i know. but its all good. ive sort of come to my senses, in a way, and decided that ill share with the world whats in my weird head. hahah. it makes me feel like im not alone. and that there are people that can relate to me; even through the toughest times. i hope i get my thoughts down properly every time i type on here, so i can look back and review on what ive thought about; just for a reminder. :]

so how should i start ?

oh yeah. theres been this line thats been in my head for the past couple of days. i heard it after i worked out. im the usual, who has the headphones on while at the gym, but i dont always listen to aggressive music. imagine working out listening to boyz ii men ? HAHAH its weird but it gets me, so whatevers. but yeah, i was listening to a song by anthony hamilton...i forget the title. but im not really paying attention to what hes saying...until he sings out these words: "intelligence is beautiful." for some reason got to me. i thought about what i look for in a girl, and everything about that kind of stuff. and im thinking to myself..."am i looking for the right things ?" in my opinion, i AM. without a shout of a doubt. coz im that kind of guy that looks for what makes sense; even though love doesnt have to make sense to work. its not like school, or work. when you work hard, you get what you deserve. not when it comes to love, etc. ive come to realize that love is about bad timing, and its just a matter of time when youre on the good side of it.

^i thought about all of that because of 3 simple words ?! oh well. im glad i think things through before taking action. hahahaha ok im ranting now. enough for now. love you guys.

P.S.: heres my latest song, called "44 minutes":

its crazy when youre inspired. things come so easily. goodnight/morning. :]

add and support ! :]